When I was pregnant with Aiden I think I spent most of my pregnancy in mourning because I always imagined that pregnancy would be a special time that I would cherish and love. I had visions of sitting around, rubbing my belly, sewing quilts, and eating chocolate bon bons while my husband rubbed my feet. HAHA! None of that happened and I quickly realized that I am a person that HATES pregnancy and I see it as a means to an end. I had to get over the fact that even as miraculous as pregnancy is, I hated it. I knew what to expect this time around...or what not to expect....so even though I'm more than anxious to say farewell to this gestation period, I'm not sad about hating my state of being with child. And even though I feel every bit and more of being 6 months, chasing a toddler, cleaning a house, and working provide quite a few distractions. Sometimes I even forget that there is a miracle growing in my belly. But things are seeming more and more real as the big day quickly approaches. Today I pre-registered at the hospital. I've been planning this birth for MONTHS, but pre-registering gave me quite a jolt. As much as I want this baby out, the day is going to come when I'm actually going to have to acoomplish the task of pushing this baby out!! I'm excited and terrified for that time. Sage has also been making his presence known quite a bit in the last week. I used to think he was a quiet and mellow little boy, unlike his brother, b/c he would only poke me a couple times a day. But in the last week I can actually see my belly move and feel many more kicks, twists, and turns. In bed at night Tom has even taken a couple kicks to the back from this little boy. This all seems early to me, but I can't exactly remember when all this started with Aiden. Right now Sage is probably just a bit over a pound so it's hard to imagine a 7 or 8 pounder rolling around in there. I've started buying clothes, I've got the diapers out and the changing table set up, I've made a list of what I have yet to purchase, and my basement is as organized as it's going to get. My midwives are fantastic, I've chosen a doula, Tom's boss knows that he'll be MIA for a few days when the baby comes, and I finally told work that I was expecting and would be taking maternity leave. I've even set up my new work schedule for when the baby arrives. I'm up several times per night to go to the bathroom, check on Aiden, and deal with pregnancy aches and pains so I'm even prepared for nighttime feedings...if that's even possible. So, Sage.....you still need to stay in there several more months, but I've got a handle on the essentials. I still have a to-do list a mile long, but I'm not freaking out yet. Mostly I'm just realizing that this is for real....that the day is soon coming when I'll have an infant, and that I'm going to be completely overwhelmed.
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