My blog has been silent because I'm pregnant...which has become the reason for everything lately. I have pictures to upload of the boys (I think) but I don't remember what I took them of and my camera battery died, so tonight I'm just tuning in to reflect with the hopes that this baby will be born much sooner rather than later.
Today I 'm trying to be thankful. And I am thankful. Honestly and truly thankful for friends and family who have stepped in to do things that I can't. I'm thankful for friends who forgo naptime and come to my house to see me and keep me company. It lifts my spirits greatly! I'm thankful for the friends who come over and bring ice cream and sit and with me while our kids play. I'm thankful for friends who walk into my mess and help me put clean sheets on the bunk beds, fold my laundry, and even endure an oven fire and dog puke with me. I 'm thankful for the friends who I know are in prayer for me and Cade. I'm thankful for my mom who has packed my freezer with freezer meals, redecorated my living room, and helped me sort mountains of baby clothes. I don't know where I'd be without her. Sometimes I get so caught up in how terrible I feel that I forget God is providing in all my neediness. It's super hard to be needy and not be able to function very well. I've been humbled this week at God's provision.
In the midst of all the emotions that come with pregnancy, this week, for the first time in 9 months, I actually thought about life without a baby in my belly. Pregnancy has seemed never ending but today with the weather cooled off I heard the cicadas singing. I know most people probably groan with the thought of Fall, but I love the change of season. I actually thought about the time when Cade would be here, football season would be in full swing, and our complete little family would all be piled comfortably on the couch every Sunday afternoon cheering on the Vikings. I even pondered the possibility of going to the apple orchard and not feeling miserable. It was a good thought and one I'm trying to hold on to.
Tom continues to remind me that just as God worked out every detail for Sage's birth, he already has a wonderful birth plan in place for Cade. In my head it seems as if everything is going wrong, but when I set my crazy emotions aside nothing is that worrisome. Instead of having 4 midwives I'm down to one. If she can't make it to the birth an OB will be there which isn't what I want but I'm trying to rest comfortably in the fact that my midwife will do everything she can to be there and at least I'm not left wondering which midwife will show up. Cade is measuring HUGE. This worries me, but the OB isn't worried so I'm trying to trust her. I've developed what my midwife calls "white coat syndrome" which means my blood pressure is reading high because I get so anxious about getting it taken. So I'm thankful for patient nurses who take my blood pressure more than once and talk to me in between to calm me down and get an accurate reading. And I'm thankful that above all Cade seems to be doing just fine. This morning the midwife was trying to use the Doppler to figure out his position but he was so very wiggly that all she was able to decide was that he's still head down (thankfully!). While my midwife spent 15 minutes trying to decipher the exact location of my baby I just watched my whole belly bounce around with Cade's wild movements. I hope he has as much vigor when it's time for him to finally get out!
Here is the latest and hopefully last (please let it be the last!!) picture of Cade while he's still buried away inside me growing and growing.
Lastly, I'm thankful that my doula will be at the birth. If my midwife can't make it that means I'll be laboring with the OB only peaking her head in once in awhile. The midwife stays in the room the whole time. So, I rest in peace knowing at least Mandi will be there keeping me calm and helping Tom be supportive. I'm also really thankful for Mandi's photography skills. She took these pictures at our lake with only a few hours notice. She was so sweet to cater to my last minute whim. These photos have reminded me that all this suffering isn't for nothing...soon I'm be holding my sweet baby Cade. I have so many beautiful pictures. These are just a sample. :)
Today I 'm trying to be thankful. And I am thankful. Honestly and truly thankful for friends and family who have stepped in to do things that I can't. I'm thankful for friends who forgo naptime and come to my house to see me and keep me company. It lifts my spirits greatly! I'm thankful for the friends who come over and bring ice cream and sit and with me while our kids play. I'm thankful for friends who walk into my mess and help me put clean sheets on the bunk beds, fold my laundry, and even endure an oven fire and dog puke with me. I 'm thankful for the friends who I know are in prayer for me and Cade. I'm thankful for my mom who has packed my freezer with freezer meals, redecorated my living room, and helped me sort mountains of baby clothes. I don't know where I'd be without her. Sometimes I get so caught up in how terrible I feel that I forget God is providing in all my neediness. It's super hard to be needy and not be able to function very well. I've been humbled this week at God's provision.
In the midst of all the emotions that come with pregnancy, this week, for the first time in 9 months, I actually thought about life without a baby in my belly. Pregnancy has seemed never ending but today with the weather cooled off I heard the cicadas singing. I know most people probably groan with the thought of Fall, but I love the change of season. I actually thought about the time when Cade would be here, football season would be in full swing, and our complete little family would all be piled comfortably on the couch every Sunday afternoon cheering on the Vikings. I even pondered the possibility of going to the apple orchard and not feeling miserable. It was a good thought and one I'm trying to hold on to.
Tom continues to remind me that just as God worked out every detail for Sage's birth, he already has a wonderful birth plan in place for Cade. In my head it seems as if everything is going wrong, but when I set my crazy emotions aside nothing is that worrisome. Instead of having 4 midwives I'm down to one. If she can't make it to the birth an OB will be there which isn't what I want but I'm trying to rest comfortably in the fact that my midwife will do everything she can to be there and at least I'm not left wondering which midwife will show up. Cade is measuring HUGE. This worries me, but the OB isn't worried so I'm trying to trust her. I've developed what my midwife calls "white coat syndrome" which means my blood pressure is reading high because I get so anxious about getting it taken. So I'm thankful for patient nurses who take my blood pressure more than once and talk to me in between to calm me down and get an accurate reading. And I'm thankful that above all Cade seems to be doing just fine. This morning the midwife was trying to use the Doppler to figure out his position but he was so very wiggly that all she was able to decide was that he's still head down (thankfully!). While my midwife spent 15 minutes trying to decipher the exact location of my baby I just watched my whole belly bounce around with Cade's wild movements. I hope he has as much vigor when it's time for him to finally get out!
Here is the latest and hopefully last (please let it be the last!!) picture of Cade while he's still buried away inside me growing and growing.
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